It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Yea

Happy Holidays everyone!  As we gear up for the all the wonderful holidays ahead and the new year, I wanted to write to you all and say thank you for being supporters and readers of my blog.  As I reflect back on 2014, it’s been quite a year for me personally and professionally.  The best part, of course, was the birth of my daughter, Isabella.  What’s also pretty incredible is that my business I have spent the last year and a half working on is still alive and kicking and is responsible for creating my daughter.  It’s true when they said, “I’m not only the president, I’m also a client!”  My wife and family are so supportive of my entrepreneurial spirit and my desire to take my invention, The Semenette®, and not only turn it into a reality but have success as well.  For anyone that runs their own business, you can surely relate to the fact that it’s a labor of love.  You have to love what you do and be willing to put in endless hours to make it work. 

As luck would have it, last week my whole household got the stomach flu.  It started with my daughter, then my wife, and then me and of course, I got it really bad.  I was in bed all day on Tuesday barely able to move but knowing that the next day, I was scheduled to exhibit at a great local called Mass Innovation Night.  I was chosen from a group of applicants to exhibit my product to other innovators, business people and entrepreneurs alike.  It was a huge opportunity for me and I had done tons to prepare for it.  What I did not prepare for was the dreaded stomach flu!  When I woke up on the day of the event, I thankfully was not throwing up but felt like I had been hit by a mack truck.  But, entrepreneurs never sleep so it was time to literally pull myself up and get to the event.  In the end, I am so happy to say it was all worth it.  Despite feeling like utter crap, I was voted favorite product of the night and took home 5,000 American Airlines points for free airline tickets!  I also met some incredible people and am thrilled to be a part of the MIN alumni network! 

Thank YOU!

Anyhow, it’s been a year filled with ups, downs, highs and lows but at the end of the day no matter what, I am beyond grateful to everyone that has supported me and my mission to bring fun and function into the bedroom with my sexy invention.  It’s humbling to have such support from friends and even from strangers that just appreciate hard work.  

Since next week mostly everyone is taking some days off (I hope you are at least), I won’t be posting next week so I want to wish everyone a happy, safe and healthy holiday and New Year.  I've got a lot more in store for you in 2015 so stay tuned, keep reading and keep making life fun and sexy!  My best to you all!

The 3D Ultrasound-The Coolest Thing Ever

If you haven’t experienced a 3D ultrasound yet, you are in for one of the biggest treats of a pregnancy.  They even had 4D ultrasounds now but the 3D one is pretty damn awesome in itself.  You get to see up close and personal your little cherub that has been invading your body for the last 6 or so months.  I’m not just talking facial features either.  You get to see how the blood is flowing through their bodies, their heart, the beating of their heart, each organ, basically everything possible on a big screen.  If you thought hearing your babies heartbeat on a regular ultrasound was awesome, this will blow your mind.  It’s as close to meeting your new child as you will get until the big day they arrive in person and it was nothing short of incredible for my wife and I. 

And so the ultrasound begins.  And there, on a huge screen tv pops up the image of my daughter.  Admittedly so, she looks a little alien like because she is only 7 months old, however, to me, it’s the most beautiful sight I have laid eyes on.  For the first time, it felt REALLY real.  And then the tears started rolling down my face!  Ok, so I’m a bit of a sensitive sally but I couldn’t hold back.  It was a moment I will not soon forget.  She had 10 fingers, 10 toes, eyes, lips, a mouth, a nose and all the things a perfect little baby should have.  They did tell us we had a big girl growing in there!  Although not much in pregnancy is an exact science, they were estimating that when born, our daughter would be tipping the scales at anywhere from 9-10lbs!  (Insert the look of fear and horror on my wife’s face thinking about delivering a 9-10lb baby!)  After the doctor was so kind enough to walk us through each part of our little (or not so little) girl, he printed out a bunch of pictures of her for us to take home.   For my wife, since the baby was a bit on the larger side, they wanted us to come back for another 3D ultrasound in another month so they could make sure there was no diabetes going on.  Scary as that news was, they said it was unlikely and more so to be precautious and the upside was that we would get to see our girl on the big screen again!  

Here are a few of the ultrasound pics we got to take home.  I hope at some point throughout your pregnancy, you get to experience the amazingness that is a 3D ultrasound!  Now to go buy some outfits for my big girl in there :)

The progression from first ultrasound to 3D ultrasound!

Holy kicking and WTF is that movement in my stomach?

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  And in the event we all likely stuffed ourselves full and have a little extra in the belly, I figured it was a good time to talk about that ever growing baby belly and all of the weird things my wife was feeling about this time.  First off, the kicks to the ribs.  Our little cherub in there was quite happy kicking the shit out of my wife’s left side right in the rib cage.  It had been determined that we did not have a “small” baby in there and they were estimating she would be rather large which meant things were obviously cramped inside that womb.  I would often see my wife sitting on the couch or just standing and then double over in pain as she was receiving a swift kick to the ribs from our little one.  It was hard not to laugh because in life, I imagine there are many times in the future when parents feel like they get swift kick to the face or ribs from their child and that wonderfulness doesn’t waste any time starting!  

One of the weirder and yet most awesome parts of the pregnancy for me especially for me was seeing the baby move from the outside.  Legit, we had a little jazzerscizer in there and she was constantly on the move.  Most often she would do her kicking at night and in the morning when my wife would be laying down.  It was so freaky to see my wife’s belly moving from the outside!  It was one thing to feel the baby moving on the inside but now that there wasn’t much room left inside there, we could see SO much more and what a cool experience it was!  It was like an alien had invaded my wife’s stomach and was taking over.  This isn’t a video of my wife but it will give you a VERY good idea of what we were seeing and what you will likely see as well!  Ready for your mind to be blown??  This is nothing short of amazing, freaky and awesome. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpffCKVe7p0 

I strongly advise you to take as many pictures and videos of your baby bump and all the crazy movement you will see.  You can’t ever get those moments back! 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

We are going to take the week off for the holidays but wanted to wish you and all your loved ones a very Happy Thanksgiving!  Eat, drink, and be merry :)  

Our First Trip to Buy Buy Baby

I had been reading the pregnancy bible, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” for many months now.  I had finally reached the section about the essential things you need for your babies arrival.  I had also been reading about baby registries and my wife and decided it was time to take our first trip to Buy Buy Baby.  It was a nice fall Saturday afternoon when we decided to venture out.  Upon arrival they have dedicated parking spots for expectant mothers and moms with newborns…off to a good start!  However, upon walking in seeing the swarms of people we both became instantly overwhelmed.  We decided to open our registry and they handed us this fun little scanner so we could simply walk around and scan things we wanted.  Sounded similar to what we did for our wedding registry which I had a blast doing.  I actually had a little too much fun with our wedding registry (I still don’t use the damn ice cream maker I got…whoopsies).  So upon being handed another scanner shopping experience, I was ready..or so I thought.  We started at the front of the store in the stroller and car seat section.  BIG mistake.  There were about 100 different stroller options.  Some convertible, some stand alone, some with 3 wheels, some with 4, lots of different bells and whistles and colors and holy shit my heads was already spinning.  We decided it would be wise to ask someone for help.  The guy we asked was kind of an idiot.  He basically told us it was up to us and our personal preference what we wanted for a stroller and car seat and if we told him what we wanted he could tell us what was best.  The point was that we had no fucking idea what we wanted or what would be best!  Ok, take a breath.  We decided to move onto the next section. 

 

Cribs and mattresses were next and unfortunately, no better than car seats and strollers.  There were approximately 15 different mattress options ranging from $100-$400 and the descriptions on them were of no help.  I had no clue what coil structure would be best for a baby and was once again, overwhelmed.  Luckily in the mattress section they had all kinds of recliners and rocking chairs and I decided it was time to take a time out.  My wife and I plopped down in our respective chairs and just sat there rocking back and forth, staring blankly at each other.  Maybe we should check out monitors.  That should be easy, right?  Wrong.  Yet again, so many options, so little information.  Fuck my life.  I was having a rude wake up call that I knew absolutely nothing about baby stuff. 

I told my wife I was headed into the baby clothes section.  That would be my safe haven.  I can always find my happy place here.  Just wait until I tell you about my baby clothes shopping obsession.  After about 5 minutes perusing cute onsies, my wife and I were both more than defeated.  I think we scanned approximately 3 things which included diapers and pacifiers and wipes.  We both looked at each other and decided it would be best to come back another time when we had a half a clue what the hell we were looking for.  Our next plan of attack, make an appointment with a Buy Buy Baby specialist to help us figure out what da fuck we need.  Word to the wise, don’t go into that store for the first time alone.  You will have a nervous breakdown and likely cry. 

I would like to mention a little shout out to The Semenette.  XBIZ, the leading adult industry media source holds an awards ceremony every year to honor the best of the best in the adult industry.  This year, out of 8,000 nominees, The Semenette is a nominee finalist for Couples Sex Toy of the Year and Specialty Pleasure Product of the Year.  Pretty humbled and excited about it.  Until next week!  

The Third Trimester Is Here!

This is what your baby looks like :)

It’s kind of surreal when the 3^rd trimester arrives.  It’s been a long 27ish weeks to get there and now that you are in the final haul, reality is definitely going to start settling in.  In this trimester there are so many new and exciting things that will happen, mainly, the big event.  Insert panic attack and inner freak out.  To see your partners belly go from normal to holy shit there’s a baby in there and the moment when you actually realize that you are about to embark on being a parent is the most insane feeling in the world.  To this day, I still have those surreal moments when I’m staring at my daughter and my wife and thinking about how she started as a poppy seed and now she is sitting on our couch with us.  The fact that my wife’s body nurtured her for 9 months and that she was a living person growing inside my wife’s belly is crazy to me.  When you really stop and think about it, creating a child truly is nothing short of a miracle. 

This trimester is when the fun really begins and I’ll be touching upon all kinds of funny topics such as baby shopping, creating your registry, 3D and 4D ultrasounds, baby kicks all the way up to the actual birth.  If you haven’t already noticed, I don’t hold much of anything back so stay tuned for lots more jaw dropping material to come.  

The Daunting Task of Shaving

As if being pregnant, hormonal and ever expanding wasn’t bad enough, you still have to worry about keeping some sense of personal grooming intact during your pregnancy.  Let’s be honest, shaving is annoying.  If you have ever read my other blog, you will know that I am anti-hair everywhere to the point where I have to shave every day.  I can’t stand the feeling of stubble or hair on me and I’m just not a fan of a wiffle down there so I spend an extra 5 or so minutes each morning shaving all my parts.  Imagine how annoying the task of shaving is for the average person and now magnify that by adding that you can barely see over your belly.  How the heck does one attempt to shave their lady parts when they can’t even see their feet? 

The Solution???

As my wife’s belly was expanding, I often remember her getting out of the shower and we would laugh together because she would tell me how hard it is for her to shave and how annoying it was to try and shave your vagina blindly.  The worst times were when she would nick herself, see blood and then would have a minor freak out moment thinking she was bleeding internally.  I would constantly ask her what I could get for her to help assist in her hair removal process but there was just no good response.  Calling all you inventors out there, there is the need for something to help pregnant women see when they are shaving!  I thought about getting her some sort of chair and mirror to basically sit and see, but the idea of that for my wife was not only embarrassing but way too overwhelming.  I even offered to shave for her but that got an even worse response.  Can’t blame me for trying!  At the end of the day, everyone will have their own personal grooming preferences and after seeing my wife give birth, I gotta say, a little hair was the last thing anyone was thinking about.  

Belly Touching AKA Stay the Fuck Away

I was watching the news this morning and saw the Today Show did a story about a woman in NYC who taped herself walking throughout the city and documenting how many times she got cat called by men.  Now, this wasn’t shocking or earth shattering news, however, it’s quite interesting to think about this on a broader scale.  If you think about it, people feel entitled and inclined to do and say whatever the hell they want.  OK, so we know that freedom of speech is your first amendment right, and within reason, pending you abide by the law you can do what you want as well.  But is there a line drawn for that or rather, should there be?  In the story with the woman in NYC, there was a man that literally walked right next to her for at least 5 minutes and didn’t say a word.  He just creepily followed her and walked right next to her.  A bit much?  I’d say so.  Shouldn’t a line be drawn when it comes to personal space and respect?  Is it a cultural thing?  Perhaps it’s just a person being oblivious.  I don’t really know.  What I do know is that one of my wife’s biggest complaints throughout her pregnancy was people feeling entitled or inclined to touch her belly at their leisure.  My wife is a very private person and isn’t into the whole touchy feely thing in general, let alone perfect strangers touching her, so this proved to be quite challenging for her.  Don’t get me wrong, my wife was a REALLY good sport when it came to friends and family wanting to touch her belly and feel the baby but again, there has to be a line drawn on this.  

I recall my wife telling me about one of her work colleagues that is just that, a work colleague, nothing more, who literally walked right up to her, didn’t say a word, and literally just started fondling her belly.  She described it as one of the most uncomfortable and awkward experiences ever, and I can imagine why.  Would you walk up to a stranger and just start rubbing their belly if they weren’t pregnant?  Nope, I doubt it, unless you were a sadist and wanted to get punched in the face.  It’s just not proper “people” etiquette to walk around rubbing people’s stomachs and a woman who is pregnant is no exception to the rule as far as I’m concerned.  If you really must, I suppose asking for permission is acceptable but that also puts the mom to be in a pretty awkward position as well.  What’s she supposed to say upon your request, “No, you may not touch my belly” and risk sounding like a hormonal bizatch?  Ok, well chances are she is hormonal but not necessarily a bizatch and reserves the right to not have her pregnant belly accosted. 

So, I leave you with this, before you nuzzle up to a pregnant woman’s belly, unless she is your partner, think twice.  You wouldn’t like it and they don’t either.

On a personal note, I want to wish my beautiful wife a happy birthday.  It was a few days ago and because she is so amazing and such a good sport about letting me write this blog, I thought at the very least, she deserved a little shout out :)

Coconut Oil on your labia…say what?!

Ok, don’t be alarmed by the title of this blog.  Ok, well maybe you should be a little alarmed.  This is one of those stories that I just HAD to share.  It’s too hilarious not to.  I mentioned in a previous post about getting my wife a prenatal facial and this event was actually while my wife was having another facial with a different woman.  The woman I made the appointment for her with is French and knows skin more than anyone I have ever met.  She’s an incredible esthetician.  She also happened to be pregnant as well so her and my wife had lots of stories to compare and chat about.  I picked my wife up from the facial and we were chatting as usual and then she began telling me one of the most hilarious and awkward things I have ever heard.  Here goes nothing.

So, as my wife and esthetician were trading stories about the horrors of pregnancy, giving birth, etc… and were also sharing advice and “trade secrets”, the esthetician began talking about using coconut oil, but not in the way you might think.  I’m sure your first thought was what mine was and that would be using coconut oil for stretch marks.  Well, the esthetician had a different kind of use for the coconut oil.  She proceeded to tell my wife that it was extremely good to rub coconut oil on your labia and perineum.  She went on to explain that you should “go home, sit and relax on the couch and rub a little coconut oil on your labia and perineum every night” to help with tearing during labor.  I legit cannot even imagine how my wife kept her shit together while the esthetician was sharing this story.  That means, A)she rubs her labia and perineum on the regular and B) she felt comfortable enough to talk about that as if it was totally normal.  Can you imagine coming home from work and finding your partner sitting on the couch, all out there, rubbing coconut oil on her lady parts like there’s nothing to see here??!  Yeah, I don’t think so.  Needless to say, my wife and I had quite a laugh.  I can also assure you that my wife decided not to take this friendly advice and her labia and perineum are just fine :)

 

Isn’t it amazing the things people feel inclined and comfortable sharing and doing when pregnant or when they see a pregnant person?  Don’t even get me going on touching a pregnant belly.  I’ll save that topic for next week!

Do you smell that???

I saw someone posted on FB about a NHL hockey player that admittedly farts in front of the net to try and distract the goalie and it prompted me to recall farts and gas during pregnancy.  Ohhh another lovely topic I have no problem covering in this blog!  I told you I keep it real.  Not sure what’s more real than farts, pooping or lack thereof pooping. 

Farting in general is a part of life.  I know there is a distinctly different standpoint on farting depending on who you are talking to.  Some people are “all out there” farters.  They have NO shame in farting anywhere, anytime, or in front of anyone.  Then you have the “closet” farters.  These are people that fart (because everyone does) but will avoid talking about farting or actually farting in front of anyone.  Not everyone likes to talk about their farts, ok?  Finally, you have the “secret” farters.   These are people that are in straight up denial about farting.  They often say things like “I don’t ever fart”.  Listen, that’s a bold faced lie and you know it just as much as everyone else does.  Secret farters will deny farting until the day they die (or emplode due to lack of passing gas when need be).

So, since we have clearly established that all people fart, we can now touch upon farting when pregnant.  It’s basically as common and standard as using toilet paper when you wipe.  One just doesn’t happen without the other.  Not only are you farting more often during pregnancy but the stench is a bit more, shall we say, pungent?  Yup, like it or not, you are going to produce some stink bombs.  Literally.  Which brings me to pooping.  I think it’s safe to say that the same categories I mentioned for farting also apply to poopers.  For pregnant women, you are going to go through phases of pooping so much your butt hurts to not being able to poop for a week.  I know, it’s gross.  I get it.  But, it’s a part of life and a part of pregnancy.  So pregnant ladies, don’t be ashamed to buy your Preparation H or have a mini celebration when you take a shit.  Both are worthy :) 

You know it's true!

Porn Star Boobs

This is by far my favorite blog entry to date.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love writing about hearing my baby’s heartbeat and seeing her sesame seed face on the ultrasound, however, is there anything better to write about than BOOBS?!  I think not.  

Boobs are a huge part of pregnancy, in more ways than one.  Women, like my wife, often worry that after pregnancy their boobs will never be the same.  I think of the song “Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow…” (replace ears with boobs).  The fear is that their boobs will change colors, shapes, sizes, hang low and never go back.  Well, I can’t say some or all of this won’t happen, however, boobs getting bigger is straight up awesome.  Now, not to put my wife’s business out there (oh wait, I do that every week), but before she was pregnant, her boobs were a size G.  Yes, a G.  You read that right.  She is a small girl with huge boobies (one of the many reasons I put a ring on it).  So starting off with a size G boobs has to be a bit daunting once you get pregnant.  It’s a given that your boobs are going to get bigger.  I mean, they feed your child so naturally that milk has to be held somewhere and it ain’t in your booty.  My wife had extremely sensitive boobs before she got pregnant and there was a huge concern that she wouldn’t be able to breast feed because she wouldn’t be able to handle the pain.  Also, she feared suffocating our baby with her enlarged and engorged G+ boobs.  Totally natural fear, I’m sure ;)  Watching the changes in my wife’s boobs throughout her pregnancy was pretty cool.  I mean, she had porno boobs.  Not a bad sight to look at for 9 months!  I will fully admit, yes ladies, your boobs will change.  Your areolas will most likely get bigger and darker and your nipples will start forming some yellowish crusty stuff (sounds gross but that is your liquid gold aka colostrum). The fun doesn’t stop there.  Once the baby is born, your boobs will no longer be your own. They belong to your beloved baby.  They will likely chafe, bleed, crack and be sore as fuck.  BUT, despite the pain and awfulness I am describing, the mere thought that milk from your boobs is feeding and nourishing your child is so freaking cool and awesome, nothing else really matters.  At least for my wife it didn’t.  My wife is a god damn trooper.  That’s all I gotta say about that.  Oh, and her boobs look fantastic post-pregnancy and post breast feeding.  So, perhaps there is a small light at the end of the booby tunnel.  Happy maternity bra and breast pad shopping :) 

A Little Humor Never Hurt

This next post is a video I came across one day.  As the ever popular Iggy Azalea is, someone spoofed her song “Fancy” into their version called, “I’m So Pregnant”.  I don’t need to say anything more.  Just watch and you will see for yourself :)  It’s pretty amazing.  Enjoy! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVuittFyM34

 

Picking Baby Names

The task of picking your child’s name is quite daunting.  I have known people in my life that have had horribly tragic names.  For example, Marsha Mellow, Harry Ball, etc… I could go on but I just feel bad for them.  Especially since their parents fully knew what they were doing when they picked their name.  I myself, have been known as Spermin’ Berman for the majority of my adult life.  Not the worst thing in the world, considering what I do for a living, however, for a girl in the 8^th grade, not so fun.  Luckily I embrace my nickname and it’s not my legal name ;)  I had TONS of boys names that I loved but those would all have to be put aside until the prospect of baby #2 would happen.  For this one, we knew our task at hand.  My wife and I both loved the name Grace.  Before we even conceived, we both agreed that if it was a girl, that would be her name.  As you can imagine, once you actually have a baby to name, there are soooo many other ideas and options that come to mind.  We had a fairly narrow list but it was extremely hard to decide which one to go with.  Some people suggested that we wait until we saw her in person because maybe the name we thought would fit would be totally different upon seeing her face for the first time.  We agreed that was a distinct possibility but we at least wanted to narrow our list down to around 3 names so it wasn’t a free for all when she was born and she ended up with a name like Marsha Mellow!  After much thought and debate, we narrowed our list down to the 3 front runners of, Grace, Isabella and Sophia.  We had determined that no matter what, she was going to have my wife’s last name as her middle name and our family name would be my last name.  So, that was certainly something to factor in.  Now that we had our list down to 3, the waiting game was on.  Only 6 or so more months of waiting to meet our baby girl!  

Gender Reveal Party!

Since my wife and I already knew the sex of the baby but our close friends and family (except our moms and dads) didn’t, we decided it would be fun to have a little gender reveal party.  We went all out with the pink and blue gear.  If you ever want to have a gender reveal party, I highly recommend Pinterest to get tons of ideas from.  There are sooooo many different ways to reveal the gender but we decide it would be fun to take a big cardboard box, decorate it and inside the box we would put the appropriate pink or blue balloons, so when we opened the box, the balloons would fly out and reveal what we were having.  It’s quite a climactic experience ;)  We had little bowls out each filled with blue and pink beads for our guests to wear and make their guess.  We also put up a chalk board for people to put their baby name suggestions.  Those were hilarious.  I’ll delve into more of that in a later post. 

I have included a bunch of pictures from our gender reveal party including one of the moment we opened the box to reveal the gender!  It was quite a relief to finally let the big secret out.  And now, it was time to shop for baby clothes!!!  

Cupcakes with Bows and Mustaches

Decorations

All things Pink and Blue

The Name Board

The BIG Reveal!

I NEED WINE AND I WANT SUSHI

I think one of the worst parts of pregnancy for women is all of the diet restrictions they have and most importantly, they cannot drink alcohol.  What woman do you know that doesn’t need a nice glass of wine after a long day at work?!  Well, I know my wife is one of those women who REALLY enjoys being able to have a nice glass of red wine after a long day and our little cherub in her belly was making that impossible for her.  The other thing that my wife and I both love is sushi.  As we all know, sushi is a big NO NO when preggers.  That along with caffeine (in moderation is ok), deli meat (unless it’s heated…gross), and most soft cheeses are all NO NO’s when pregnant.  You would think a pregnant woman should be allowed to do, eat and drink whatever the heck she wants, right?!  It’s a long 9 months of restrictions and no booze but as we know, it’s all worth it in the end!  Just imagine how delicious that first glass of wine will taste?  Just be prepared to dump your liquid gold breast milk after you drink it ;)  #mommyproblems

Wake Up, Time to Shop!

It’s every woman’s worst nightmare to have to go jean shopping and it’s no different, in fact, worse, when you are pregnant and realize that you need to start buying maternity clothes.  However, what most don’t realize is how amazing maternity jeans actually are.  To the average eye, they look like your standard, trusty pair of blue jeans.  What you don’t see is that they are equipped with a large cotton stretchy waistband that fits nice and comfortably over your ever expanding belly and fupa (fat upper pu*sy area…sorry mom, but that’s what it’s called these days).  Walking into a Destination Maternity for the first time is quite an interesting experience.  I must say, maternity clothes have come a long way since I can recall.  I have seen pics of my mom and grandmother when they were pregnant and they were not wearing anything remotely fashionable.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good mumu as does my wife, however, when going out in public, you want to appear to be a smart, fashionable mom to be and Destination Maternity did not disappoint.  Jessica Simpson even has her own maternity clothing line so you know things have come a long way!  So instead of my wife being horrified at what she was expecting to be ugly and bleak options for clothing, she was actually not horrified.  In fact, when she tried on the maternity jeans she said, “These are amazing!  Who wouldn’t want to wear these all the time”?!  (I’ve actually contemplated borrowing them for Thanksgiving as it’s my favorite holiday and pants with no buttons and an expandable waist sound delightful and appropriate).  So ladies, the moral of the story here is, don’t be afraid of that baby bump.  Embrace it, because now you can cover it in some pretty fashionable threads.

Stretch Mark Creams and Maternity Pillows

I never imagined myself researching and purchasing as much stretch mark cream as I did for my wife.  I knew she was super freaked out about getting stretch marks on her stomach and I thought it would be a nice gesture to get her as many different products as I could find.  Little did I know there was a plethora of options in the world of stretch mark creams.  Everyone I asked, including my mom said cocoa butter was the key.  So, I happened to find the Palmers website which had about 48756934857643957 options for belly butters, cocoa creams, etc…  It was an understatement when I say I was overwhelmed.  I ended up buying about $100 worth of freaking body creams for my wife.  She was obviously very appreciative for the gift, however, I can imagine the feeling of getting cream from your wife to prevent stretch marks not being the sexiest gift on the planet.  She was using that shit religiously and then I decided to get her a prenatal massage and facial as another treat for her (I know, you want to marry me too;).  The facial she had was with a woman we both see and is super knowledgeable about skin.  She was explaining to my wife that all of the cocoa creams and the body butters don’t work!  She said that stretch marks are in majority all up to genetics, so if your mom had bad stretch marks, there’s a good chance you will too.  There are SO many urban legends when it comes to pregnancy so who knows which is accurate or not and this is no different.  My wife started using a different cream that was recommended to her by the facial lady and so far, so good!  No stretch marks!  I think it’s all about personal preference though, so go with what you like. 

Money Well Spent!

What I like, is sleep.  Sleep is good.  And people are telling us to get as much sleep now as possible.  For me, that isn’t such a tall task but for my wife, it’s a different story.  She was starting to show a little bit but that didn’t mean she was any less uncomfortable while sleeping.  Usually they say as you get bigger you get more uncomfortable but for my wife, that started early on.  She’s a pretty restless sleeper to begin with and this only made it worse.  We kept hearing about these maternity pillows that supposedly help women sleep so, as a good wife does, we went to find that shit and buy it!  Anything to keep the baby mama happy J  I tell you, it was the most well spent $80 ever.  This maternity pillow was not just one pillow.  It was this set of pillows that came in parts and had Velcro so you could attach and detach what you wanted, when you wanted.  Whoever came up with that idea…genius.  My wife was much happier sleeping as was I.  You know what they say people, happy wife, happy life.  Learn it.  Live it.  

I'm Tired and I Wanna Go To Bed

This is how my wife and I feel today so this is all the energy I have to give for this entry.  You will be able to relate someday, I promise!

Hearing Her Heartbeat

I’m sure a lot of people would compare the first sonogram to the first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat, but for me it was a totally different experience.  As I previously explained, the sonogram was a mix of feelings between trippy and weird to elation and joy.  The first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat is nothing short of straight up, fucking awesome.  As you might imagine, when we saw the doctor and she told us this was the week we would be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat, I was like a kid in a candy store.  Hearing her little heartbeat was going to make this more real than it ever had been.  I took out my cell phone like the sappy, sentimental sally I am, and asked if it was ok to record the heartbeat on my phone.  The doctor smiled, I’m sure I’m not her first sensitive sally, and told me of course I could.  The doc proceeded to put a hug glob of jelly on the ultrasound Doppler and on my wife’s stomach and off we were.  I got a quick glimpse of the heartbeat sound and then my wife laughed and then all we heard was what sounded like white noise and static.  The doctor moved the Doppler swiftly over her belly and all of a sudden, this quick, strong rhythmic beat was filling up the room.  As I’m sitting there holding my cell phone close to her belly, I began crying.  Ugh, I know, what a sap.  But I literally couldn’t contain myself.  It was the best noise I had ever heard.  It was my daughter.  I urge everyone to record the first time they hear the heartbeat.  It’s one of those memories and moments you will never be able to repeat and once that you will cherish forever.  Often times when I’m having a bad day or I need a little pick me up, I will look at pictures of my baby and listen to that first time I heard her heartbeat, and somehow, things are just better.  

I absolutely loved hearing her heartbeat and I know when you get the opportunity to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time, you will feel the same way!

Genetic Testing Time

How time flies when you’re pregnant…well, at least for me it was.  I doubt my wife would agree.  We had quickly reached the 10 week mark which meant it was time, if we chose, to have the new non-invasive pre-nantal genetic testing done.   This is newer technology that is available for pregnant women who don’t want to have the invasive and often times dangerous amniocentesis, which can detect genetic abnormalities such as Trisomy 18.  There were a lot of new non-invasive tests that only required a blood sample and not only did they tell you about genetic abnormalities but they could also tell you the gender of your baby!  This allows you to know the gender way before you would be able to tell via ultrasound which usually cannot happen until week 18-20.  We knew right away we wanted this new testing done as we were both VERY eager to make sure there were no genetic abnormalities and to know the sex of the baby!  We had an initial meeting with a consultant who reps all of the different non-invasive test and she goes over the pros and cons of each one.  It was a little overwhelming but so fascinating to see how far science has come in being able to determine so many things so early on.  She went on to explain how during pregnancy, the mother's blood contains fragments of the developing baby’s DNA.  This test analyzes the DNA in a blood sample to predict the risk of Down syndrome (trisomy 21), as well as trisomies 18 and 13, in the pregnancy.  The test can also evaluate X and Y sex chromosomes which is how they can determine the gender of the baby…sometimes science can be so cool! 

After some thought, we decided to go with the Harmony test.  If you are curious to learn more about the one we chose, here is a link to their website, http://www.ariosadx.com/.  My wife and I were lucky enough to have great insurance and got this test mostly covered.  It was $200 out of pocket for us which is an expense we were happy to incur.  The only downside to this was that it can take up to 7 days to get the results back and let me tell you, those were the longest 7 days of our lives thus far!  It actually only took 5 days after the blood work to get the results reported.  The other awesome thing I forgot to mention was that in your initial consultation, if you decide to have the gender tested for, they give you options as to how they tell you once the results are in.  They give you the option of having them send you paperwork so you can open it together or they ask for which person gets the first phone call, if you want them to leave it on a voicemail, etc…  SO many options catered to each couple, which we loved.  We decided we wanted a phone call and we did not want them to leave a voicemail because we wanted to be together when they gave us the news. 

Longest 5 days ever had passed after the bloodwork when the phone rang at 7:30am on a Tuesday morning.  My wife and I were both startled awake when the phone rang and I answered it quickly.  It was our representative that we had our consult with and she said she had great news for us (insert initial sigh of relief).  She went on to tell us that there were NO genetic abnormalities and that we were going to have a baby GIRL!  WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!   My wife and I were elated with this news and our next phone call was to our moms to share the good news. 

If you can afford this test or any of the similar ones, I highly recommend it.  Of course, talk to your doctor about your options and what’s right for you and your partner, but it was such a relief not only knowing that we were having a healthy baby but that we were having a healthy baby girl :)