Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Do you smell that???

I saw someone posted on FB about a NHL hockey player that admittedly farts in front of the net to try and distract the goalie and it prompted me to recall farts and gas during pregnancy.  Ohhh another lovely topic I have no problem covering in this blog!  I told you I keep it real.  Not sure what’s more real than farts, pooping or lack thereof pooping. 

Farting in general is a part of life.  I know there is a distinctly different standpoint on farting depending on who you are talking to.  Some people are “all out there” farters.  They have NO shame in farting anywhere, anytime, or in front of anyone.  Then you have the “closet” farters.  These are people that fart (because everyone does) but will avoid talking about farting or actually farting in front of anyone.  Not everyone likes to talk about their farts, ok?  Finally, you have the “secret” farters.   These are people that are in straight up denial about farting.  They often say things like “I don’t ever fart”.  Listen, that’s a bold faced lie and you know it just as much as everyone else does.  Secret farters will deny farting until the day they die (or emplode due to lack of passing gas when need be).

So, since we have clearly established that all people fart, we can now touch upon farting when pregnant.  It’s basically as common and standard as using toilet paper when you wipe.  One just doesn’t happen without the other.  Not only are you farting more often during pregnancy but the stench is a bit more, shall we say, pungent?  Yup, like it or not, you are going to produce some stink bombs.  Literally.  Which brings me to pooping.  I think it’s safe to say that the same categories I mentioned for farting also apply to poopers.  For pregnant women, you are going to go through phases of pooping so much your butt hurts to not being able to poop for a week.  I know, it’s gross.  I get it.  But, it’s a part of life and a part of pregnancy.  So pregnant ladies, don’t be ashamed to buy your Preparation H or have a mini celebration when you take a shit.  Both are worthy :) 

You know it's true!

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