It’s every woman’s worst nightmare to have to go jean shopping and it’s no different, in fact, worse, when you are pregnant and realize that you need to start buying maternity clothes. However, what most don’t realize is how amazing maternity jeans actually are. To the average eye, they look like your standard, trusty pair of blue jeans. What you don’t see is that they are equipped with a large cotton stretchy waistband that fits nice and comfortably over your ever expanding belly and fupa (fat upper pu*sy area…sorry mom, but that’s what it’s called these days). Walking into a Destination Maternity for the first time is quite an interesting experience. I must say, maternity clothes have come a long way since I can recall. I have seen pics of my mom and grandmother when they were pregnant and they were not wearing anything remotely fashionable. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good mumu as does my wife, however, when going out in public, you want to appear to be a smart, fashionable mom to be and Destination Maternity did not disappoint. Jessica Simpson even has her own maternity clothing line so you know things have come a long way! So instead of my wife being horrified at what she was expecting to be ugly and bleak options for clothing, she was actually not horrified. In fact, when she tried on the maternity jeans she said, “These are amazing! Who wouldn’t want to wear these all the time”?! (I’ve actually contemplated borrowing them for Thanksgiving as it’s my favorite holiday and pants with no buttons and an expandable waist sound delightful and appropriate). So ladies, the moral of the story here is, don’t be afraid of that baby bump. Embrace it, because now you can cover it in some pretty fashionable threads.
Welcome! Here you will find alot of laughs, possibly some tears and lots of stories about the trials and tribulations of being a same sex couple trying to make a baby. From conception to insemination, to peeing on sticks and picking up baby daddy baby batter, I am going to share the nitty gritty on all things lesbian, all things baby and all things Semenette(R), my invention that miraculously became a reality. I hope you enjoy reading my stories as much as I enjoyed living them.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Stretch Mark Creams and Maternity Pillows
I never imagined myself researching and purchasing as much stretch mark cream as I did for my wife. I knew she was super freaked out about getting stretch marks on her stomach and I thought it would be a nice gesture to get her as many different products as I could find. Little did I know there was a plethora of options in the world of stretch mark creams. Everyone I asked, including my mom said cocoa butter was the key. So, I happened to find the Palmers website which had about 48756934857643957 options for belly butters, cocoa creams, etc… It was an understatement when I say I was overwhelmed. I ended up buying about $100 worth of freaking body creams for my wife. She was obviously very appreciative for the gift, however, I can imagine the feeling of getting cream from your wife to prevent stretch marks not being the sexiest gift on the planet. She was using that shit religiously and then I decided to get her a prenatal massage and facial as another treat for her (I know, you want to marry me too;). The facial she had was with a woman we both see and is super knowledgeable about skin. She was explaining to my wife that all of the cocoa creams and the body butters don’t work! She said that stretch marks are in majority all up to genetics, so if your mom had bad stretch marks, there’s a good chance you will too. There are SO many urban legends when it comes to pregnancy so who knows which is accurate or not and this is no different. My wife started using a different cream that was recommended to her by the facial lady and so far, so good! No stretch marks! I think it’s all about personal preference though, so go with what you like.
|Money Well Spent!|
What I like, is sleep. Sleep is good. And people are telling us to get as much sleep now as possible. For me, that isn’t such a tall task but for my wife, it’s a different story. She was starting to show a little bit but that didn’t mean she was any less uncomfortable while sleeping. Usually they say as you get bigger you get more uncomfortable but for my wife, that started early on. She’s a pretty restless sleeper to begin with and this only made it worse. We kept hearing about these maternity pillows that supposedly help women sleep so, as a good wife does, we went to find that shit and buy it! Anything to keep the baby mama happy J I tell you, it was the most well spent $80 ever. This maternity pillow was not just one pillow. It was this set of pillows that came in parts and had Velcro so you could attach and detach what you wanted, when you wanted. Whoever came up with that idea…genius. My wife was much happier sleeping as was I. You know what they say people, happy wife, happy life. Learn it. Live it.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
I'm Tired and I Wanna Go To Bed
This is how my wife and I feel today so this is all the energy I have to give for this entry. You will be able to relate someday, I promise!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Hearing Her Heartbeat
I’m sure a lot of people would compare the first sonogram to the first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat, but for me it was a totally different experience. As I previously explained, the sonogram was a mix of feelings between trippy and weird to elation and joy. The first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat is nothing short of straight up, fucking awesome. As you might imagine, when we saw the doctor and she told us this was the week we would be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat, I was like a kid in a candy store. Hearing her little heartbeat was going to make this more real than it ever had been. I took out my cell phone like the sappy, sentimental sally I am, and asked if it was ok to record the heartbeat on my phone. The doctor smiled, I’m sure I’m not her first sensitive sally, and told me of course I could. The doc proceeded to put a hug glob of jelly on the ultrasound Doppler and on my wife’s stomach and off we were. I got a quick glimpse of the heartbeat sound and then my wife laughed and then all we heard was what sounded like white noise and static. The doctor moved the Doppler swiftly over her belly and all of a sudden, this quick, strong rhythmic beat was filling up the room. As I’m sitting there holding my cell phone close to her belly, I began crying. Ugh, I know, what a sap. But I literally couldn’t contain myself. It was the best noise I had ever heard. It was my daughter. I urge everyone to record the first time they hear the heartbeat. It’s one of those memories and moments you will never be able to repeat and once that you will cherish forever. Often times when I’m having a bad day or I need a little pick me up, I will look at pictures of my baby and listen to that first time I heard her heartbeat, and somehow, things are just better.
I absolutely loved hearing her heartbeat and I know when you get the opportunity to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time, you will feel the same way!
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