Welcome! Here you will find alot of laughs, possibly some tears and lots of stories about the trials and tribulations of being a same sex couple trying to make a baby. From conception to insemination, to peeing on sticks and picking up baby daddy baby batter, I am going to share the nitty gritty on all things lesbian, all things baby and all things Semenette(R), my invention that miraculously became a reality. I hope you enjoy reading my stories as much as I enjoyed living them.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Sperm Drug Deals
Cup o' Sperm
pictured yourself meeting a guy on the street to pick up a brown bag containing
sperm? Yeah, neither did I. This whole process of trying to make a baby
contained A LOT of firsts for my wife and I.
After we secured our baby daddy as you know, the next task at hand was
actually getting our hands on the sperm.
Aren’t lesbians trying to get away from sperm by choosing to be with
women? I know I was. I had my days of “dealing” with sperm and I
was all set with them. But here I was,
about to plunge right back into the wonderful world of semen. (Insert gag reflex). I suppose the upside to having to come in
contact with sperm again was this time it was not going to be anywhere on my
body (or mouth) and it would be the source of my potential child. For that reason alone, I was totally willing
to make an exception and get my hands dirty…literally. Not in the way you might think. Our donor was “taking care of business” on
his own (thank goodness), so all I had to do was open the cup and get that
semen inside my wife. Not as easy as you
might think. I’ll share that story in a
later entry because it deserves its own post.
Am I eggulating?!
Back to the
collection and acquiring of our sample.
This is in short how the scenario would go. My wife would diligently test her ovulation
to see when she was in her peak baby making time. She would often know it was time because normally
she never has to wear deodorant but when she was ovulating her right armpit
would require some. Oddly enough, that
was a better signal of her ovulating than the pee sticks themselves. Ohhh the wonderful pee sticks. We had lots of those on hand and all
different brands to make sure we wouldn’t miss the peak time. When we were sure we had that dark line or
smiley face we would text our baby daddy and say, “it’s time!” He called her ovulating “eggulating”, a term
I have grown to love. So, my wife would
eggulate and we would coordinate a “meeting” of either us driving to their
house or him driving to meet us. I had
previously given him some sterile plastic cups for him to use to collect the baby
batter. We had several pick up and drops
offs of sperm but the one that stands out the most to me is the one where our
donor met me outside of my place of employment.
Sperm Drug Deals
My office is located in what some might call a sketchy area. It’s been known to have prostitutes, happy
ending massage parlors and lots of drug deals.
When my donor and I were planning on meeting, it felt very much like
your average drug deal in the area except the contents in the brown bag were a
warm cup of sperm. Quite different from
a bag of drugs. Our donor pulled up in
his truck in front of my office, texted me that he was outside where I proceeded
to meet him. He rolled down his window
and handed me a brown paper bag containing our baby batter. We chatted for a few minutes but time is
always of the essence when holding onto a warm brown bag of sperm so he drove
off and our “drug deal” was complete. It
was more laughable than awkward. Our
baby daddy was so great about making this whole part of the process not awkward
which was just another reason why he was such a perfect choice for us. Let me take a minute to give kudos to all the
donors out there. While it might seem
fun and easy for a man to ejaculate on demand, it’s not and they are doing us
such an amazing thing by donating their swimmers to our quest for a baby, so
props to all the baby daddy donors out there.
And so now, with sperm in hand, the drug deal was complete and now it
was time to get those spermies into my wife’s cervix!