As you have
read from my previous entry, when you are eggulating and it’s time to
inseminate, there’s no lengths you won’t go to.
When the time is right, the time is right! This was certainly the case for my wife and
I. I mean, we inseminated in my parents
condo which was so bizarre and weird. I
thought that would be the weirdest place we would ever inseminate but boy, was
I wrong! The thing about it is that,
life still carries on, even when you are eggulating. We have jobs, responsibilities and commitments
and we can’t always have that oh so sacred moment of “basting” your
partner. I can recall several
inseminations that were done in even more bizarre places than my parents condo…
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| Our baby making surroundings |
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| Squirt Squirt |
We would
often inseminate at our baby daddy’s house.
Our baby daddy and his husband were so gracious to allow us to “do the
deed” in their guest bedroom. Let me set
the scene for you… The drive to our baby daddy’s house was usually 45 minutes
to an hour. Upon passing a certain exit, we would text our
donor and let him know it was time to “get to business” aka produce some baby
batter. Upon arriving at their house we
would go inside, chat for a few minutes and then head upstairs to their
guestroom where good smelling candles were always lit, the bed was always
nicely made, towels were neatly folded on the bed, and the fresh cup of sperm
was placed on the nightstand table. It
almost sounds too good to be true. And
now it was time to send those sperm to their home! It’s not the easiest thing in the world to
get comfortable in this “sexual” way knowing that just downstairs is your baby
daddy and his husband but as I said, you gotta do what you gotta do! I would clumsily try and navigate all of the “tools”
we had for inseminating and then squirt away.
Don’t even get me started on the time I “pre ejaculated” some of the
sperm in the syringe onto my wife’s leg.
That wasn’t one of my finer moments.
After I was done inseminating her, she would lie on the bed with her
legs elevated for at least 20 minutes.
This was us thinking we could force those sperm to swim in the right
direction. My wife would sometimes even
do head stands to assure those swimmers knew where to go. And this was all while the guys were
downstairs.
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| Backseat baby making |
Our
inseminations didn’t stop there. We were
on our way to a wedding in NH and of course, my wife happened to be eggulating
on the day we were going. So,
we did what any couple wanting a baby would do and we stopped at our baby daddy’s house on our way to the wedding, ran in, picked up some sperm
and because we were running late to the wedding, we had to inseminate in my
car. Yes, you read that right, in my
car. Not to mention that my sister was
riding with us so we decided to make her useful as well. We literally had my sister stand in front of
us in our baby daddy’s driveway with a towel covering us, my wife laid in the back
seat and I proceeded to inseminate her…very quickly. Talk about romance. I often thought about having to explain to our future child where he or she might have been conceived. "You were conceived in the back of mommy's car! YAY!"
The bottom line here is that there
are no exceptions to the rule when it comes to making a baby. You will do whatever it takes wherever
necessary, clearly. A good day was being
able to inseminate in the privacy of our own home, even though it still was
with a damn needleless syringe. The
sexiness continues…
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